Sunday Funnies

Guess Mommy's Never Seen a Real Woman Woman to friend: Look at that woman. She so fat, we should call Greenpeace to roll her back in the ocean. Little girl passing by fat woman: My mommy says Greenpeace should roll you back into the ocean! --Zandvoort, Netherlands Overheard by: Linda via Overheard at the Beach, Feb 22, 2007 I Especially Like the 'Wave' Effect Woman looking at water: Wow! Did you rake the water? It looks nice! Lifeguard: Yeah, it took me a long time. --Caroga Lake, New York Overheard by: Willie COol via Overheard at the Beach, Jan 26, 2007 The Answer Is Sedimentary, My Dear Watson Bimbette looking up at cliff face: Hey, do rocks eat other rocks? Guy: ... Huh? Bimbette: Do rocks eat other rocks? You know, so that they can grow into bigger rocks... Guy: Are you serious? No, rocks do not eat other rocks. Bimbette: Then, like... How do they get bigger? Guy: [Silence.] Bimbette: Like, what do they eat? --Merewether Beach, Newcastle, Australia via Overheard at the Beach, Feb 6, 2007 Wait! You Need to Pay the Directions Tax Tourist: Excuse me, how do I get to Times Square? Ghetto dude: This is Times Square. Tourist, slower and louder: No. Times Square. Ghetto dude, slower and louder: This is Times Square. Tourist: No, I'm looking for the actual square. Where's the square? Ghetto dude: Oh, you want the square... Go down six blocks, turn left, and go down three. You can't miss it. Tourist: Hey, thanks a lot, man. Ghetto dude: Dumb fuck. --42nd & Broadway via Overheard in New York, Jul 23, 2007