Sunday Funnies

But You Just Said You Were Pregnant on the F Train Two Minutes Ago Woman #1: Excuse me...You know, you really shouldn't smoke when you're pregnant. Woman #2: I'm not pregnant. Woman #1: Oh well uh, carry on then. --Park & 32nd St Overheard by: SUSAN via Overheard in New York, Oct 22, 2006 Cause If I Don't Make Quota This Month, the Yakuza Will Have My Thumbs Overeager sales associate: Welcome to American Eagle! Can I help you find anything? Guy: No thanks, just looking. Overeager sales associate: Hey, you know what would really look good on you? Guy: What? Overeager sales associate: Jeans! Guy: Uh... I guess I like jeans. Overeager sales associate: That's music to my ears! --American Eagle, Union Square Overheard by: doubeldee via Overheard in New York, Oct 23, 2006 First They Came for the Trans-Fats and I Didn't Speak up Writer: 'Portly' sounds cute. Sounds like a nice, bald, fat man in a three-piece suit. Designer: 'Portly' sounds like someone with grease stains on their shirt from dropping a piece of chicken. Writer: That's not 'portly!' That's obese! Designer: What's the difference? Writer: Obese is like those Subway ads before Jared lost his weight. When he was all wild-eyed and savage. Clothes all stretched out, nothing laundered, brimming with Big Macs and Crisco sandwhiches. Designer: They should outlaw Crisco. Just straight out make it a crime. Writer: Yeah. 16340 North Scottsdale Road Scottsdale, Arizona via Overheard in the Office, Oct 23, 2006 Or Whatever It's Called When you Drink too Much and Fall Asleep Coworker: I swear, I keep falling asleep at my desk...I think I have epilepsy. 7945 Haven Ave Rancho Cucamonga, California via Overheard in the Office, Oct 23, 2006